Why Your Child’s Spiritual Growth is NOT Your RIGHT

Now, hear me out before you start throwing stones.  Recently, I read a very interesting blog lamenting the fact that parents are “outsourcing” the spiritual education of their children to the church.  Interestingly enough, the comments that ensued in response to this blog began with someone offering three excuses why parents feel they have been stripped of the right to be their child’s spiritual leader. Now, I could address these excuses – but, I am not going to for two reasons.  First, because they are not God-honoring, and are, in fact, the very reason I am not giving this blogger the recognition he deserves by including his name, the title of his post or a link to his blog.  Second, because these excuses deflect responsibility and hijack the focus of the article away from the most important decision parents have to make concerning their children.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them diligently when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes, your should write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.            Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Based on this passage, I contend parents really DON’T have the RIGHT to be their children’s spiritual leader, and here is why.

A right is something that is given to you based on a set of variables you must maintain.

A responsibility is something you accept based on a set of expectations you must meet.

When we were raising our children, my husband and I considered a right to be a privilege we gave them but could just as easily take away if we saw the need.  The problem with privileges is the tendency to develop a sense of entitlement if we don’t maintain a proper perspective.  And let’s face it; we all tend to lose our perspective from time to time.  Usually the more entitled we feel the less attention we pay to what is expected of us to maintain those rights.  Those expectations are our responsibilities.  Now, we don’t HAVE to accept our responsibilities; however, if we do not, we can expect to pay the consequences.  For example, as parents we gave our children the right to watch our television; however, it was our prerogative to revoke that right any time they didn’t maintain certain responsibilities such as keeping up with their chores.  So what does that have to do with you?

Your child’s spiritual growth and development is not a RIGHT or privilege that has been given to you or that can be taken away from you by anyone for any reason.

There is no other person, social organization, or church group that can replace your role as parent in your child’s life.  You are, therefore, not entitled to place the blame at anyone else’s feet if your children do not learn His precepts. The church is a good supplemental resource, but according to Deuteronomy, the spiritual education of your precious offspring is a responsibility expressly given to you by God Himself.  You do have a choice whether or not you are going to accept your responsibility; however, there are both immediate and eternal consequences for choosing not to do so.  Unfortunately, these consequences don’t just affect you; they affect every area of your children’s lives.  He does not require perfection, but He does demand faithfulness.  This leaves us with a very important question:

Have I recognized and accepted my RESPONSIBILITY as my children’s spiritual teacher?  If someone else is the primary source for their spiritual growth, it is not because anyone has taken that right away.  It is because the responsibility has been relinquished to them.  Let’s face it.  It is not an easy task that can be checked off your to-do list in one day.  It is a life-long commitment that requires you to be intentional with every decision you make, but make no mistake, the rewards far outweigh the sacrifices.

I am challenging you to write out a plan of action for 2014.

Include –

1. plans to guard against feelings of entitlement that can destroy your perspective

2. plans to be intentional about teaching the Bible to your children

3. plans to maintain diligence and consistency long-term

Keep in mind parenting is not for the weak or faint at heart. And though it may not really be your RIGHT, always remember GOD CHOSE YOU and GAVE YOU the VERY IMPORTANT RESPONSIBILITY to raise up your children to love Him with all their heart, with all their soul and with all their mind.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT in 2014?

If you have any specific ideas or experiences you would like to share, please feel free to add them to the comments section.