20/20 Wrong Sight

Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!”

Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”

“Yes, come,” Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.  But when he was the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink, “Save me, Lord! he shouted!

Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said.

“Why did you doubt me?”

 They had been in storms at sea before – and conquered them. But that night these mighty, muscular men could be found huddled together helplessly on a ship in the middle of the sea – and they were frozen in abject terror. All around them waves were crashing with increasing strength as the crests climbed higher and higher. Lightening bolts cut their eerie patterns across the sky while explosive thunder shook the entire boat and its contents. They must have been exhausted from the events of the day, but there would be no rest that night.  Had it just been earlier that day they had watched Jesus feed over 5,000 people with just five loaves and two fish? What an amazing experience! But look at them now!

I am struck by the fact that the disciples, who had spent so much time in the presence of Jesus and witnessed so many amazing miracles, did not think to pray in their own time of need.  In fact, they were so focused on fighting the waves themselves they didn’t even recognize Jesus as He walked toward them.  Instead of His presence invoking peace in their hearts, it caused their fear to multiply!  Even after Jesus spoke to them, telling them they needn’t be afraid because He was there, Peter wanted confirmation that what He was saying was real.  Oh, the patience Jesus has with us!

And when Peter finally believed and stepped toward Jesus in faith – Oh, can you imagine watching that!   There they sat, convinced the boat was going to capsize with the every wave, and now one mere man had climbed over the side of the boat into the very water they now fully expected to be their collective grave by sunrise!  But instead of drowning he was actually walking ON the water!  That is until he took his eyes off Jesus and looked at the chaotic circumstances around him.  Then he began sinking.

It seems very simple from our vantage point doesn’t it?  Keep focused on Jesus and walk on the water; look at the world and sink. Hindsight is always 20/20 as they say, but I learned this week it is oh so easy to lose focus and start sinking so let’s not get caught up in judging Peter too quickly!

I have been frustrated the last couple of weeks because I had hit a brick wall with my writing and couldn’t seem to get past it.  I tried writing about different topics.  I tried writing at different times of day.  I tried writing in different styles.  If anything the problem just seemed to get worse.  Instead of flowing as it usually does, it was forced.  I knew what I was trying to say, but I couldn’t seem to get the words to come together like I wanted.  I wasn’t having fun anymore.  I struggled to figure out what was going wrong.  Like the disciples I know God is in control and has a plan.  I know He is all-powerful and all-knowing – yet I had one very sad thing in common with the disciples on the ship at sea in the storm – I forgot to pray!  I was too busy working on the problem myself!

Well, thankfully God is patient with me when I do stupid stuff.  But He also has a great sense of humor.  He knows sometimes it takes a “walking on water” experience to get my attention.  

Thursday night I was watching American Idol.  Now, this is not an advertisement for reality shows, nor am I telling you God does or does not want everyone to watch them.  Let’s just acknowledge I have gotten hooked on American Idol and leave it at that.  One reason is my fascination with a young man who has been on the show this year named Colton Dixon.  Colton has made quite a name for himself because, despite being warned by the show’s producers that he should stop, he has been very vocal about his faith. Throughout the show he has quietly and honorably stayed true to his convictions.  From his song choices to his demeanor to his speech, he not only talked the talk but walked the walk and made sure everyone knew he did not care if it cost him the title,  he was going to remain faithful to God. That is until Wednesday night.  Wednesday night he took his eyes off Jesus and began sinking.  Unfortunately, it cost him his spot on the show, but  God is faithful, and he did not let him drown.  Colton apologized to the judges and to his fans for losing his focus. Then he knelt on the stage while he sang his favorite song from earlier in the season, “Everything” by Lighthouse.  As he knelt before millions of people, praising and worshiping God even though it appeared his dream had just been crushed,  he proved his eyes were back where they belonged – firmly gazing on Jesus. It was clear he did not doubt God was in control.

As I watched him unabashedly praising and worshiping God so unexpectedly, I felt like I could hear God asking, “Why are you doubting  me?”  Without realizing it, I had taken my eyes off Jesus when I was writing and allowed doubts to creep into my heart and mind.  What if people hated what I wrote?  What if people hated my style?  What if people weren’t interested in what I wrote about?   As long as I was more worried about what other people thought, I was going to sink.  If I wanted to get past this wall and write again – if I wanted my writing to bring glory and honor to him – I had to get my focus back where it belonged, firmly on Him and nowhere else.

It doesn’t seem as easy to judge Peter and the disciples anymore.  I hope it isn’t too  easy to judge me, either.  But I have to tell you.  I got up the next morning burning with the urge to write, and it was an amazing experience!  The wall was gone and the words – His words – flowed once again.  Unfortunately, I missed an appointment because God and I were having so much fun, but you know, I really didn’t mind too much.  I apologized and rescheduled, making sure my eyes stayed where they belonged.

Remember the name Colton Dixon.  I would chance to say you will be hearing it again some day – maybe even buying his CD’s.  Right now you can go onto itunes and download the praise song he sang on American Idol.  I think I will just as a reminder to guard my focus because as Colton and I both learned this week –

We can have 20/20 vision but it is 20/20 Wrong Sight if it is focused on anything but Him.